Life to the Fullest

We will build a new Memphis

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 10:00:42 -0500

Sometimes I feel discouraged, and feel my work’s in vain.But then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again…There is a balm… to make the wounded whole. If we will believe that, we will build a new Memphis, and bring about the day when every valley shall be exalted, every mountain and hill will be made low.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

from the Mountaintop speech, March 18, 1968, the evening before his assassination

offbeats: You will never leave the house drunk again.

Tue, 17 May 2011 11:07:08 -0500

offbeats:

You will never leave the house drunk again.

"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity."

Mon, 16 May 2011 11:03:00 -0500

“As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.”

- Henry David Thoreau in Walden

"People who live good stories are too busy to write about them. Nobody ever strapped a typewriter to..."

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 18:20:34 -0500

“People who live good stories are too busy to write about them. Nobody ever strapped a typewriter to an elephant and wrote a novel while hunting wild game.”

- Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

Limbo

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 11:45:46 -0500

Photo Credit - Cayusa

I’m back! I figure its about time for a life update, at the very least. I do have to admit my eagerness for writing has faded significantly since this blog began. Forgive me?

I am counting down the days. Days until I leave for Memphis? 44. Days until I get married? 140. Days until I become tired of the present? Well that happened a while back. The trouble with countdowns is the way my mind then is limited to seeing each day as a hindrance to me reaching my bright future. In an environment where I am separated from my goals only by time, contentment is hard to come by daily. I have for a long time been frustrated with my job. I am thrilled that I had the opportunity to work where I did for the last year, as my coworkers are fun, energizing people. In contrast however, the fact that my primary role in database design is something so far away from what I envisioned myself doing that it feels like I am trying to run sprints into a headwind while wearing a parachute. I struggle to see where the work that I do there will benefit me as I head forward into teaching. The selfishness in that statement hurts me, but I can’t deny that it has a tight grasp. The best way I have found to describe my current state is an analogy to the state of limbo. I have no control over my current state, I just have to wait it out. I want to reclaim each day as something exciting, a gift to be fully utilized. If you have any thoughts to share, I’m open to listening.

Happy π Day!

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 08:39:21 -0500

Pi day is March 14th every year because the first 3 digits of pi are 3.14. As a mathematically minded person, I enjoy that this day brings a bit more awareness to the prevalence of math and its relevance in society.

Here are two perspectives I have found about Pi Day so far. Enjoy!

Relating Pi to music

Pi day is Wrong

In this episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Jon lays...

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 09:44:30 -0600

In this episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Jon lays down some accountability for politicians who are trying to fix the budgets by cutting education budgets and opposing teachers’ rights.

I find it simultaneously funny and outraging because he is absolutely right.

Here are some pictures of the proposal last weekend!

Sun, 06 Mar 2011 17:20:08 -0600

getting set to bike around Shelby Park

found a geocache, trying to look sneaky

an unsuccessful attempt

Made it to our picnic!

View from the picnic site

flowers, wine, and cheesecake

still pre-popping the question

She said yes!

The ring

Here are some pictures of the proposal last weekend!

I'm getting MARRIED!!

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 22:45:41 -0600

The wave of joy and gratitude just keeps growing exponentially as I get to share this news and the story behind it with so many family members and friends that I care about and that care for Lauren and me. For now, the short version will suffice: As of Saturday, February 26, 2011, Lauren Kinzer has agreed to marry me! She has been a constant and wonderful companion in my last few years, and our relationship has been a tremendous adventure which we look forward to continuing and deepening.

This weekend has been incredible and exhausting, as well as tremendously encouraging. The long version of the story will come soon, and I will probably post it here in addition to wherever else it should end up, since I am just incredibly proud of myself for pulling it off. Until then, thank you to everyone who has shared kind words and encouragement with us already, and we look forward to continuing to share this journey with you all.

And as to those who actually noticed my hiatus from writing, I hopefully will have a bit more time and some newly refreshed ideas to write about now that the planning for the proposal weekend is over. (Yes i know I have to plan a wedding now, but I’m trying to be optimistic and not let the blog die…)

Last thing, I am thoroughly convinced that being exhausted from an abundance of joy is possible, yet it’s fantastic problem to have.

Things I learned from my boss's 3 year old son

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:44:52 -0600

1) You ride an alligator (aka elevator) to the top of a tall building. 2) You shouldn’t wear boots when surfing. You should however wear shoes. 3) You should wear boots when driving a monster truck. 4) His dog is bigger than mine, and it licks him a lot. 5) The entrance to our office is actually a cleverly disguised beach. 6) Sandcastles can be outfitted with hot steam. The verdict is still out on whether this is for HVAC purposes or for scalding the bad guys.

I love the creativity of kids that age.

"Every student deserves to be treated as a potential genius."

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 15:15:25 -0600

“Every student deserves to be treated as a potential genius.”

- Anton Ehrenzweig

Not letting my idiocy control me

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 19:05:30 -0600

I can read, but sometimes I don’t read very well. Just as some people choose to exercise selective hearing when someone is talking about something they would rather not hear (guilty…), I have a bad habit of skimming over certain emails and then forgetting about them. Turns out that I don’t have a 100% comprehension rate when I enter skim mode.

The short version of the story is this. Last Tuesday, I received an email to inform me of the next meeting of a church small group that I’ve been going to for the last few months. Although it clearly said “Jan. 19” in the subject line, I skimmed the email with the idea that it was referring to the next day. In my excitement to get back in the flow, I invited Lauren, and the next evening, we showed up on the doorstep of my friends house for a surprise visit.

I don’t often enjoy my mistakes, for in some ways it reveals to me and those involved that I am an ignoramus. I don’t pretend that I can hide it for very long, but I do expend far too much energy trying to do so. Yet I was challenged this night to embrace that fact, admit I had made a mistake, and accept the grace that the family extended to me. Lauren and I ended up spending a splendid evening with this family. We played with their kids for a while, had dinner with them, and had a chance to catch up on many big life changes that have been or are in process of happening. I was quick to frame my perception of this mistake as an inconvenience and an embarrassment, but our friends were so gracious and happy to have someone that was willing to play with the kids for a while and provide some good conversation.

After 22 years of mistake prone life, I still hope that I could be better at accepting that I am imperfect. The effort that I put into avoiding this reality almost prevented me from a great experience last Wednesday. The fact is, the fear of looking dumb is a powerful negative motivator that fights against a strong sense of identity.

Changes

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 12:00:07 -0600

So I’ve taken a break from blogging, partially for Christmas/New Year, and partially because I wanted the next one to be BIG. From my perspective at least, this one brings out the big guns. With 2011 comes a whole load of change that I am ecstatic to see.

Here is the big news: I have accepted a position in the 2012 graduating class of the Memphis Teacher Residency. What does this mean? I’m moving to Memphis starting in late May. I’ll be beginning a year long Master’s degree in Urban Education from Union University in June. Part of this program will include 4 days per week in a Memphis City School classroom once the school year starts in August. During my year long Masters program, I will live in the same apartment complex as all the other teacher residents, building a strong and supportive community that will help us develop as high quality teachers for urban classrooms. The residency will even cover the cost of my tuition and my rent, as long as I teach in Memphis for 3 years after I graduate. The best part of the program is that I will be surrounded by others who share my Christian calling to create better schools. The program is founded on the idea that providing high quality teachers in schools where students are otherwise condemned to regenerating the cycle of poverty is a valid and necessary response to the Gospel. The vision inherent in this program is strong and hard not be excited about.

I was attracted to this program several years ago when the founder/director gave a talk at Vandy’s Campus Crusade meeting. I met him then and then held on to the info card for a couple years. Last year, two of my close friends began the application process, got accepted and then moved to Memphis to begin the program. Everything that I heard from them was positive. When I went to interview in December, I was overwhelmed with the passion of all those involved, and the uniqueness of this residency when compared to Teach for America, New Teacher Project, or any other similarly minded organization.

Another reason that this opportunity excites me is that at the moment, Memphis functions as a kind of Research & Development arm of urban education reform. It is a much smaller system than districts like New York City and Chicago, yet has many of the same demographics. The idea is that if we find an idea that works in Memphis, it has a better chance of scaling up to the bigger systems than a program starting from scratch. This puts Memphis on the stage of Urban Education Reform. Every important organization in reform is active in Memphis and money is pouring in from Race to the Top and from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, all hoping to find a way to not leave our cities’ education systems behind. I want to be a part of that.

I am looking forward to a year in which everything will be inverted, where it seems already that nothing will remain the same. I certainly have my fears, but I can’t say that I believe I am heading in a wrong direction. I would certainly appreciate prayers for my fears and for passing the PRAXIS test this weekend (I have to pass it to get into the program and as a part of gaining teacher licensure) .

Christmas is about Good Storytelling

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 17:12:10 -0600

The Count of Monte Cristo is the second best story ever told, just in case you wondered. I really wish I could read it in the original French, or at least that the jerk who translated it to English would have translated it without rearranging the chapters into chronological order. I like the version that we have in English, but the one I have is altered from the original work to make the timeline align. Personally, I think that should be considered criminal, but that’s simply my opinion.

As I posted about recently, Andrew Peterson is my new Christmas hero. I’m just sad it took me four years of living in Nashville to understand how great that album was. What I admire so much about his music in comparison to the repertoire of other Christmas music is the ability to connect a person to the grander story of which Christmas is just a part. The Christmas story is, by itself, not a bad story, but it would mean nothing without the existence of Easter. Easter also is impossible without the celebration of Christ’s incarnation. Together, these two events form a pretty cool story, but there is still something missing.

I heard Steve Taylor (the director of the upcoming Blue Like Jazz movie) say that great stories occur in the extremes of human experience. If you think about the amount of stories we have access too, there are very few that are able to earn status as a classic. Epic stories such as The Count of Monte Cristo draw upon the exceptional situations to interest readers. Monte Cristo displays superhuman perseverance through utter and undeserved hopelessness, resulting in redemption and revenge. The Incarnation and the Resurrection certainly already take place in the extremes of human experience, but they serve even better as the resolution to the longer story which the whole of the Bible tells.

The story begins with the setup of the love story between God and the human race He created. When humans fall captive to sin, we are introduced to the antagonist of the story. The Old Testament, in short, is where God reveals to humanity that He has a plan to save them and that they are asked to trust Him until the time comes. For the time being, they are given the Mosaic law, which although insufficient for salvation, reminds them at the character of God. Bit by bit, through prophets and poetry, we see little elements of the plan foreshadowed, providing hope which counteracts the suffering which comes along with the years of separation. In the New Testament, we then are introduced to the plan for rectifying the problem through the Gospels. The rest of the New Testament then shows the reactions and results of the new covenant, for those who choose to be under its authority.

I think its safe to say that regardless of your religious inclinations, you can agree that good stories engage us in an unparalleled way. Movies and books that tell compelling stories compose a large chunk of our cultural capital. Storytelling as a form of oral communication of values almost certainly occurred in prehistoric times. Those who complain that we have lost the meaning of Christmas are reacting to the disconnect that we have with the scope and splendor of this overall story. For all the power of a good story, if they are not retold, they lose their power. For those of us looking to find the meaning of Christmas, remember what role it plays in the greater story of the Bible and of God’s plan, and learn how to tell that story yourself so that its power is not forgotten.

On an individual song level, the listener has little indication...

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 16:03:06 -0600

On an individual song level, the listener has little indication that Andrew Peterson’s “Behold the Lamb of God” is a Christmas album. As a whole however, I would argue that this is the best Christmas album I have ever heard. The album is a modern musical retelling of a beautiful story that extends far beyond the scope of Christ’s birth story. The songs poetically relate the plan of God for the entire reconciliation of humanity to Himself, which culminate in the birth of Christ.

Enjoy this song, my favorite from the album. If you are interested in buying the whole album, go to: https://store.rabbitroom.com/music/behold-the-lamb-of-god-10th-anniversary-2-disc-set They are offering a 2 disc set (the studio version and the live version) for $10.

You should buy it. This Christmas season has been much more significant to me because of this album.

So Long, Moses by Andrew Peterson

From the Album “Behold the Lamb of God”

So long, Moses
Hello, Promised Land
It was a long, long road
But your people are home
So long, Moses

Hello, Joshua
Goodbye, Canaanites
We’re coming to town
Twelve tribes and no crown
No crown, Oh Lord

We want a king on a throne
Full of power, with a sword in his fist
Will there ever be, ever be a king like this?

Hello, Saul
First king of Israel
You were foolish and strong
So you didn’t last long
Goodbye, Saul

Hail, King David
Shepherd from Bethlehem
Set the temple of God
In mighty Jerusalem

You were a king on a throne
Full of power, with a sword in his fist
Has there ever been, ever been a king like this?
Full of wisdom, full of strength, the hearts of the people are his
Hear, O Israel, was ever there a king like this?

Hello, prophets
The kingdom is broken now
The people of God
Have been scattered abroad
How long, O Lord?

So speak, Isaiah
Prophet of Judah
Can you tell of the One
This king who’s going to come

Will he be a king on a throne
Full of power with a sword in his fist?
Prophet, tell us will there be another king like this?
Full of wisdom, full of strength,
The hearts of the people are his
Prophet, tell us will there be
another king like this?

“He’ll bear no beauty or glory
Rejected, despised
A man of such sorrow
We’ll cover our eyes

He’ll take up our sickness
Carry our tears
For his people
He will be pierced

He’ll be crushed for our evils
Our punishment feel
By his wounds
We will be healed.”

“From you, O Bethlehem
Small among Judah
A ruler will come
Ancient and strong.”

It’s Snowing In Nashville!!!

Sun, 12 Dec 2010 15:48:00 -0600

It’s Snowing In Nashville!!!

1) I got a White Castle candle from my office’s Christmas...

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 22:38:00 -0600

1) I got a White Castle candle from my office’s Christmas party from the Dirty Santa Game. Despite a phenomenal sales job and many efforts to get it stolen by later players, it attached itself to me. Sad, because I started with a Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas CD.

2) Today was a day of cooking. I cooked a pot roast with my good friend Lauren Law who happened to be in town. It was great to catch up with her. Then for dinner I made tortellini primavera. The pot roast is for a Christmas potluck after church tomorrow (unless that gets ice/snowed out; then I guess I would have pot roast for the next 15 meals).

3) Today, Josh moved most of his stuff in, including a good bit of furniture. Our house feels so much more home-y and warm now. I want to have people over. The armoire in the picture weighs approximately 2 tons. Not fun to move up and down stairs in the pouring rain (and I was worried about having time to work out today).

4) We have a Christmas tree. Its about 2 feet tall and now lives on top of the new armoire. We named him Mr. Beau Jangles.

5) I am settled in at my kitchen table with a hot chocolate (complete with a dissolved-in candy cane), wafer roll cookies, and a fireplace scent candle while I start to prepare for an interview weekend with a teaching fellowship for next year.

6) I ordered these glasses today. I decided I like having vision insurance. It saved me nearly $300 on these.

This is currently what I have had playing on repeat for the last...

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 16:38:02 -0600

This is currently what I have had playing on repeat for the last few days. I’m really excited for Christmas this year for some reason.

One Note: The Civil Wars is a duo I just heard about a couple weeks ago. They are giving two of their songs away here: https://www.noisetrade.com/thecivilwars#. One of these songs is original and then there is a nice version of O Come O Come Emmanuel.

Another Note: I really like both the Dave Barnes and Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors albums. They were great investments.

Final Note: I soon hope to add Matt Wertz’s Christmas song, “Christmas Just Does this to Me” and an album of A Capella album from Straight No Chaser called Holiday Spirits.

Christian Music Snobbery

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 12:06:07 -0600

I’m a Music Snob. I know this, and it doesn’t bother me. By my previous post, I did not intend to create the perception that all Christian music is bad, not even all of it that makes it to Christian radio is bad. Nor do I believe that the writing of it is not spiritual, meaningful, or possibly even therapeutic. Rather,I suggest that I am put off by the lack of quality in what seems to be the majority of the Christian music that I have heard stay on the radio for years.

What I do feel slightly guilty about in writing this post is that while making my criticism, I am unable myself to contribute much to a solution. I am not unmusical. I play guitar and have dabbled in piano, and I can sing a bit, but I don’t deserve a record contract nor can I write songs worthy of remembering (I’ve tried, and its ugly. I don’t even choose to remember my own songs). Maybe my problem relates to a belief that the music market should function like other markets, where product quality is a high priority. I’ve seen many examples of that not fulfilling itself while living here in Nashville. Also, I often find myself getting some joy out of disparaging things that I consider undeserving of their fad status in pop culture (one word: Ke$ha). So call me hypocritical, because I probably am.

Regardless, I believe Christians give our music a free pass to be terrible. It makes some logical sense. Imagine with me that you went to a local coffee house’s open mic night. If there is no Christian attachment, most people would probably feel alright with criticizing a local teen who is writing his emo songs on his inherited guitar, at least in your mind if not in conversation with friends. The moment that open mic event presents a similarly untalented individual who sings praise songs instead, guilt enters the picture for judging the musicality of the song. The artist may have a good heart in writing the song, but that doesn’t mean that everyone in the world has to approve. Psalm 100 says to “Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs,” not to make sure everyone joins you.

In addition, it irks me that Christian pop seems to portray God as safe. While to some degree it has to be this way, I know my God isn’t safe. He is good, but isn’t safe. But that’s a completely different discussion.

I would argue for even higher expectations for music claiming to praise God and carry his message. If in fact we are in the grasp of the greatest story ever told, our music often ineffectually carries evidence of that journey. Compared to the Psalms, I bet most of what gets played on Christian radio would seem uninspired and shallow. Much of pop music today lacks a poetic nature or a strong storyline, so it is admittedly hard to infuse this genre with those qualities. Although some sentiments necessitate a simplicity of musical accompaniment, there are many complexities in our God which are not often mirrored by the music chosen for broadcast over Christian airwaves.

I attribute these relaxed standards to a condition within the music industry as a whole, which values quantity of music produced rather than quality. Many artists probably produce music before they have been given time to develop their musical abilities fully, because they reach the point where their songs are good enough to sell to an audience who has been spoon-fed a lot of musical junk food. For example, I like some rap music, but the rap industry particularly seems to thrive on tunes which only last two or three weeks. When a song first comes out, it is fresh and new, but before long the shine wears off and most people tire of its similarity to every other rap song that just released. The majority of music which is sold to the public these days is not written with artistic value as its primary goal. It has little to no staying power. Much of what gets significant radio play is guilty of this charge.

I still have my questions about the idea of a Christian music industry existing. The two things together seem not to mix well in my mind. Not that I believe there shouldn’t be one; I don’t claim an opinion on it at the moment.

What I do believe in is supporting those artists who you enjoy and benefit from. The best way to do that, as I am told by a friend of mine with close industry ties, is to go to the artist’s shows and buy merchandise (T-shirts, posters, etc.) and/or CD’s there. They get more off the profits for those sales than iTunes or retailer purchases. That way, they also meet you and put faces with those who are enjoying their craft. Good music is a rarity these days. When you find it, particularly if it carries the Christian message, support it and tell everyone else to at least check it out. Hopefully that way we can start to show the music industry that we aren’t clueless listeners eating out of the palm of their hand whatever they deem good enough.

"“Patience Taught by Nature” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning ‘O dreary life,’..."

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 22:26:57 -0600

“

“Patience Taught by Nature”
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

‘O dreary life,’ we cry, ‘O dreary life! ’
And still the generations of the birds
Sing through our sighing, and the flocks and herds
Serenely live while we are keeping strife
With Heaven’s true purpose in us, as a knife
Against which we may struggle! Ocean girds
Unslackened the dry land, savannah-swards
Unweary sweep, hills watch unworn, and rife
Meek leaves drop yearly from the forest-trees
To show, above, the unwasted stars that pass
In their old glory: O thou God of old,
Grant me some smaller grace than comes to these! —
But so much patience as a blade of grass
Grows by, contented through the heat and cold.

”